THE SECRET OF LASTING MARRIAGE

4 THE SECRET OF A LASTING MARRIAGE family pressures, praying and growing together, and surviving every season of life. Each chapter ends with key points, reflection questions, and a prayer. Read slowly. Pray as you read. If you are married, try to read it together with your spouse. If your marriage is already hurting, do not lose hope. What God has designed, He is able to restore.

5 THE SECRET OF A LASTING MARRIAGE CHAPTER ONE God Designed Marriage — — — Before there was a government, a church, or a school, there was a marriage. The very first institution God created on earth was not a nation or a temple. It was a home. That tells us something important: marriage is not a human invention that we are free to redesign. It is a divine gift with a divine purpose. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” — Genesis 2:18 (KJV) Marriage Begins With God's Idea Notice who speaks first. God saw a need, and God provided the answer. Eve was not an afterthought; she was God's deliberate gift to Adam. When a husband and wife understand that God joined them, they begin to treat the marriage as something sacred and not as a contract that can be dropped when it becomes difficult. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” — Genesis 2:24 (KJV) Leave, Cleave, Become One This single verse gives us three movements. Leave: a new family is formed, and the couple's first loyalty shifts to each other. Cleave: the word means to be glued, to hold fast. It describes a commitment that does not let go. One flesh: two lives becoming a shared life, with shared goals, shared struggles, and a shared

6 THE SECRET OF A LASTING MARRIAGE future. Many marriages struggle because one of these movements is missing. Some spouses never truly leave, and parents or friends keep the deepest influence. Others leave but never cleave, staying together physically but living emotionally apart. Lasting marriages do all three. What God Has Joined “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” — Matthew 19:6 (KJV) Jesus spoke these words when people asked whether divorce should be easy. His answer pointed back to the beginning. Marriage is meant to be permanent, because it was designed by a permanent God. This does not mean that hurting spouses should suffer in silence or that abuse must be tolerated. It means that our starting posture should be commitment, not escape. When we enter a marriage believing it is for life, we find the strength to work through what would otherwise break us. Key Points to Remember •Marriage was…