The Human Manual

THE HUMAN MANUALJULIE K. ¦ 3 ¦ A Note from the Author ¦ Humans are fascinating creatures. They make plans they don't follow, ask questions they don't want answered, lose things they were just holding and confidently give advice they never use themselves. They are sometimes brilliant, sometimes confusing and occasionally impossible to explain. This book is not here to judge them. It's simply here to observe them. And if, somewhere along the way, you recognise yourself... Well, that's between you and this book. Welcome to The Human Manual. — Julie K.

THE HUMAN MANUALJULIE K. ¦ 4 ¦ 01 The Confidence of 2 A.M. ¦ · ¦ There is something suspicious about the human brain at 2 a.m. During the day, it struggles to answer a simple question like, "What should I eat?" But at 2 a.m., suddenly, it has the energy and intelligence to reorganise an entire life. You start thinking about your future. Not just tomorrow. Your entire future. You decide that things are about to change. You'll wake up early, exercise, eat healthy, save money, read more books and finally become that disciplined person you've been promising yourself you would become since January. And somehow, all these decisions feel perfectly reasonable while you're lying in bed doing absolutely nothing. You might even open your notes app and write down your new routine. 6:00 a.m. — Wake up. 6:15 a.m. — Exercise. 7:00 a.m. — Healthy breakfast. 8:00 a.m. — Become successful. There is no room for failure in this schedule. Not even room for breakfast to be late. You go to sleep feeling proud of yourself. You've achieved so much without moving a single muscle. Unfortunately, morning has a different management team. The alarm rings. You open your eyes, stare at the ceiling and begin questioning every decision you made the previous night. Exercise? In this economy? You remember promising yourself to wake up early, but the bed has presented a very convincing counterargument.

THE HUMAN MANUALJULIE K. ¦ 5 ¦ Five more minutes. Then another five. Before you know it, your carefully organised morning has become an emergency meeting about how to get ready as quickly as possible. The healthy breakfast has been replaced by whatever requires the least effort. The exercise session has been postponed, and the ambitious person who planned to conquer the world is nowhere to be found. By lunchtime, you have almost forgotten the entire motivational speech. But don't worry. Night will come again. And at approximately 2 a.m., the board of directors will reconvene. New plans will be approved. New promises will be made. This time, everything will be different. After all, tomorrow is a fresh start. Apparently, tomorrow is the busiest day in human history. ¦

THE HUMAN MANUALJULIE K. ¦ 6 ¦ 02 I'll Be Ready in Five Minutes ¦ · ¦ There are five minutes, and then there are five minutes. The first…