SOMETHING MUST KILL A MAN

SOMETHING MUST KILL A MAN A Comedy That Hits Too Close to Real Life By Akuma Mba

Disclaimer This novel is intended solely for entertainment. The humorous situations, misunderstandings, exaggerated events, and comic dialogue are fictional and should not be interpreted as reflections of any individual, community, culture, profession, or organization. The author does not encourage harassment, public humiliation, invasion of privacy, discrimination, or disrespect toward anyone. Certain scenes are intentionally exaggerated to create laughter and suspense. Readers are reminded that comedy often mirrors everyday life through satire and exaggeration. Enjoy the laughter—but remember to respect others in real life.

Prologue Every town has that one person. The unfortunate soul whose embarrassing moment refuses to die. Years may pass. Governments may change. Roads may be rebuilt. Children may grow into adults. But the story remains alive. In Okoro Junction, that unfortunate man was Benson Okafor. Nobody remembered the day he graduated from technical school. Nobody remembered the day he repaired electricity after the whole neighborhood went dark. Nobody remembered the countless times he helped stranded motorists. Yet everyone remembered one thing. The day Benson looked where he shouldn't have looked. Some claimed it lasted five seconds. Others insisted it was ten. The women said it was shameless. The men secretly admitted they might have done the same. Within twenty-four hours, the entire town had seen the video.

Within forty-eight hours, neighboring villages were laughing. Within one week, even strangers recognized him. Children greeted him with laughter. Bus conductors shouted his nickname. Market women burst into giggles whenever he passed. His wife stopped speaking to him. His landlord became suspicious. His mother-in-law declared war. Even pastors used him as an example during sermons. One accidental glance had become a national disaster. But the funny video was only the beginning. Hidden beneath the laughter was a dangerous secret. Someone had planned everything. Someone wanted Benson's life destroyed. Before the truth emerged, friendships would break, marriages would shake, kidnappers would make the biggest mistake of their lives, politicians would panic, and an entire town would discover that laughter can sometimes hide deadly intentions. Because in life... Sometimes embarrassment is only the first chapter.

Chapter 36 – The Final Trap Chapter 37 – Truth Inside the Memory Card Chapter 38 – The Mastermind Revealed Chapter 39 – Public Apology or Public Shame Chapter 40 – The Town Hall Showdown Chapter 41 – The Wife Learns the Truth Chapter 42 – Laughter Turns Into Tears Chapter 43 – Justice Comes Late Chapter 44 – Benson's New Beginning Chapter 45 – Something Must Kill a Man... But Not Today

Chapter One The Man Who Looked Once The morning sun had barely climbed above the rooftops of Okoro Junction when Benson Okafor dragged himself out of bed. His tiny one-room apartment looked as though poverty had rented it before he did. The ceiling leaked whenever rain fell. The fan only worked when it felt generous. The old mattress had surrendered years ago, forcing him to sleep in the middle where the springs were least aggressive. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared into an empty bowl. Nothing. Not a grain of garri. Not a slice of bread. Not even the forgotten biscuit crumbs that usually hid beneath the table. His stomach growled loudly. "Easy," Benson muttered, rubbing his belly. "I'm looking for breakfast too." His stomach answered with another loud protest. From the corner of the room came the sharp voice of his wife. "Who are you talking to?" "I was talking to my stomach." Ngozi rolled her eyes. "You two have been holding meetings every morning. Tell it to find money." Benson sighed. "I'll get work today." "You said that yesterday." "I mean it this time."

"You also meant it last week." Their marriage had become a competition between hope and reality. Ngozi wasn't a bad woman. She was simply tired. Tired of unpaid rent. Tired of borrowing food. Tired of hearing promises instead of solutions. She folded her arms. "The landlord came again." "What did he say?" "He said if we don't pay by Friday, he'll remove the roof so rain can help us move out." Benson laughed. "He's joking." Ngozi didn't. "He wasn't smiling." Benson swallowed. Landlord Chukwu was famous for keeping promises—especially unpleasant ones. He picked up his old toolbox. "I'm going out." "With what transport money?" "I'll walk." "What will you eat?" "I'll drink water." "What if you don't get work?"

"I'll still come back." Ngozi shook her head. "One day your optimism will kill you." Benson smiled. "No. Something else will." He didn't know how true those words would become.

Okoro Junction was already awake. Motorcycles zigzagged through traffic like angry mosquitoes. Market women shouted over each other. Bus conductors competed to attract passengers. Someone argued about the price of tomatoes. Someone else accused another of stealing a chicken. A loudspeaker from a nearby church battled with music blasting from a bar. It was another ordinary day. Benson loved this chaos. It reminded him that everyone was struggling somehow. As he walked, familiar faces greeted him. "Electrician!" "When will you repair my fan?" "When you pay the old bill!" Laughter erupted. Another man called out.

"Benson! My freezer has refused to freeze." "It has learned from the economy." More laughter. Even in hardship, Benson had one gift. He could make people laugh. If only laughter could pay rent.

By noon, luck had refused to cooperate. He had visited six houses. Three people promised to call him later. One customer had already hired another electrician. Another insisted his nephew could repair everything after watching YouTube videos. The last customer asked Benson to repair an entire building and promised to pay him "when things improve." Benson politely declined. His stomach protested again. He checked his pocket. One hundred naira. Just enough for a sachet of water. He smiled weakly. "At least water still believes in me."

Mama Chinyere's Provision Store stood at the busiest corner of the market.

It sold everything from noodles and milk to batteries, detergent, chewing gum, and phone recharge cards. Customers crowded around the counter. "Mama Chinyere!" "Please hurry!" "I was here first!" "No, I came before you!" Mama Chinyere ignored everyone equally. She had mastered the art of serving customers according to a mysterious system nobody understood. Benson squeezed through the crowd. "Mama, one sachet of water." She looked up. "Cash?" "Credit." She laughed. "Even water is no longer doing credit." The customers laughed too. Benson scratched his head. "Tomorrow?" "You've been saying tomorrow since Easter." More laughter. Before Benson could reply, another customer hurried into the shop. A young woman carrying a shopping basket.

She wore a loose green blouse and gray leggings dusted from the road. Without noticing Benson behind her, she leaned far over the counter, trying to reach a carton of milk displayed inside. "Please, Mama," she said. "Can I see that one?" The shop was small. The crowd pushed forward. Someone behind Benson stumbled. He instinctively looked up. Then... Time slowed. His eyes drifted in exactly the wrong direction. He realized it almost immediately. "Oh no..." He tried to turn away. Too late. The woman suddenly stood upright and glanced back. Their eyes met. Benson froze. She frowned. "What are you looking at?" The noisy shop became strangely quiet. Before Benson could explain— A familiar voice thundered from the entrance. "Benson!"

His blood turned cold. Ngozi. She stood at the doorway carrying an empty shopping bag. Her eyes moved from her husband... ...to the embarrassed woman... ...and back again. The silence lasted only a heartbeat. Then— SLAP! The sound echoed across the market. Every conversation stopped. Even the nearby motorcycle riders turned to look. Benson staggered sideways, clutching his burning cheek. "My wife!" "I can explain!" Ngozi pointed at him with trembling fingers. "Explain what?" "I wasn't..." "You weren't looking?" "I..." "You weren't enjoying yourself?" "I only—" "Keep quiet!"

A teenager standing outside quietly raised his phone. Its camera was already recording. Benson never noticed. Neither did anyone else. But within seconds, the clip had captured everything—the awkward glance, the slap, the shouting, and the laughter erupting from the crowd. No one in that little shop realized they had just witnessed the beginning of the biggest public embarrassment Okoro Junction had ever seen. By sunset, Benson's face would be on hundreds of phones. By tomorrow, the whole town would know his name. And before the week was over... People across the country would be laughing at the man whose single careless glance changed his life forever. End of Chapter One

Chapter Two Trouble in Mama Chinyere's Shop For three long seconds after the slap, nobody moved. Even the buzzing flies around Mama Chinyere's bread shelf seemed to pause in surprise. Benson stood frozen, his right hand pressed against his burning cheek. His ears rang. His pride hurt even more. The young woman who had bent over the counter quickly stepped aside, clutching her shopping basket. "I... I don't know this…