BEFORE YOU SAY YES

BEFORE YOU SAY I DO | NANFA SUNDAY2 BEFORE YOU SAY I DO Biblical Principles for Choosing the Right Partner and Preparing for Marriage Nanfa Sunday Nanfa Sunday Books A note to the reader This book is a Christian guide for singles and engaged couples who want to approach marriage with faith, wisdom, honesty and preparation. It is not a formula for identifying a flawless spouse, nor does it claim to reveal a private message from God about a particular person. Its purpose is to help readers apply biblical principles, ask wise questions, recognise healthy and unhealthy patterns, and make a responsible decision. The Scriptures are quoted from the King James Version (KJV). The guidance in these pages is educational and pastoral in nature. Where there is abuse, coercion, threats or immediate danger, seek safety and qualified support; do not use the language of forgiveness or submission to excuse harm.

BEFORE YOU SAY I DO | NANFA SUNDAY3 Contents • Introduction: Marriage Begins Before the Wedding • 1. Understand the Purpose of Marriage • 2. Become the Person You Are Praying For • 3. Seek God’s Guidance Without Ignoring Wisdom • 4. Character: Look Beyond Attraction • 5. Compatibility, Values and Life Direction • 6. Communication Before Commitment • 7. Questions Every Couple Should Discuss • 8. Family, Boundaries and In-Law Relationships • 9. Money, Work and Shared Responsibility • 10. Sexual Purity, Intimacy and Honest Expectations • 11. Warning Signs You Must Not Ignore • 12. Preparing for a Covenant, Not Just a Ceremony • Conclusion: Choose with Faith, Wisdom and Courage • Prayers, Reflection Questions and Readiness Checklist

BEFORE YOU SAY I DO | NANFA SUNDAY4 Introduction: Marriage Begins Before the Wedding A wedding is a day. A marriage is a life. The wedding ceremony may last a few hours, the photographs may be admired for years, and the celebration may be remembered by family and friends. Yet the real work of marriage begins after the music ends. It is found in ordinary decisions: how two people speak when tired, how they handle money, how they respond to disappointment, how they resolve disagreement, and how they remain committed through changing seasons. Many people prepare carefully for a wedding but give little attention to preparing for marriage. They may choose a venue, clothes, colours, food and a date while avoiding difficult conversations about faith, character, finances, children, family expectations, conflict and personal history. These matters are not unromantic. They are part of loving someone responsibly. The question is not merely, “Do I love this person?” It is also, “Can we build a truthful, safe, faithful and purposeful life together? Are we willing to grow? Can we disagree respectfully? Do our values and expectations allow us to walk in the same direction?” Feelings matter, but feelings alone cannot carry the full weight of a lifelong covenant. The Bible presents marriage as a serious covenant and a partnership in which love is expressed through faithfulness, service, honour and responsibility. Genesis 2:24 describes a man leaving his father and mother, cleaving to his wife, and the two becoming one flesh. This picture speaks of a new household, a committed union and a shared life. This book will not tell you to marry quickly, nor will it tell you to fear marriage. It will encourage you to slow down enough to see clearly. Pray, study Scripture, observe character over time, ask honest questions, seek mature counsel and make decisions without pressure. You do not need a perfect person. You do need a person who is willing to walk in truth, take responsibility and grow with you. Remember: A godly marriage is not built by a perfect wedding. It is built by two imperfect people who continually submit their lives to God and practise love, truth, humility and faithfulness.

BEFORE YOU SAY I DO | NANFA SUNDAY5 1. Understand the Purpose of Marriage Marriage is more than a social milestone Marriage should not be entered merely because friends are marrying, parents are asking questions, or a person feels left behind. It is not a trophy that proves adulthood, attractiveness or spiritual…